Time means little to me—day or night, holiday or weekday. The difference lies only in the attitude I bring to it.
时间于我而言，没有太大区别，白天黑夜。不分假期、地点、场合，有区别的是面对它的态度。
For years, I have tried to train myself to be still water. No ripples on the surface, while emotion and reason flow quietly beneath, thudding along.
多年来，我想训练自己平静如水，不起涟漪，情感和理智在底下流淌，咚咚咚传响。
My goal is to flatten the peaks and troughs, the joy and the sorrow, and to meet every change in life with the same quiet care.
统一高低起伏、喜怒哀乐，以相同的细腻面对生活的变化。
The person happy at a friend's wedding is me; the person sad remembering the dead is me. The one delighting in conversation, the one disgusted by anger, the one cheering a small breakthrough, and the one frustrated by an unsolved puzzle—they are all me.
朋友结婚开心的是我，追忆先人悲伤的是我，相谈甚欢的是我，厌恶愤怒的是我，点点突破欢呼的是我，苦思冥想不得解的也是我。
It has always been this way. Whatever happens ends up vanishing, leaving nothing behind but fractured "nostalgia."
向来如此，不管发生什么，到头来全部消失殆尽，只留下追忆往昔的破碎“怀念”。
This even-keeled calm is a way of living in reverse. Knowing I will miss the present one day, I feel it now with the tenderness of future memory.
这种统一的平静，是反回来生活。知道未来怀念现在，就以怀念细腻感知现在。
The ideal life renews itself constantly and dies at its peak. Repetition yields nothing but boredom. Seeing the same people to exchange harmless pleasantries results in no deeper understanding, no heartfelt sharing, and no growth in trust.
理想的生活节节历新，死在顶点。重复生活什么也得不到，除了令人生厌。见同样的人，交换一些无关痛痒的信息，没有增进半步的了解，没有深入心底的分享，没有更信任更理解的情感推进。
Delete them from your life, and the quality only rises. This is experience speaking. I have cut many contacts and uninstalled all short-video and social apps.
将他们从生活中删除，生活质量不降反增。这是经验之谈，我删除过很多联系，短视频社交媒体也统统卸载过。
Lingzi still jumps up now and then to share some brand-new psychological discovery—the deepest, most original one yet. I often tease her: where is the new? It is just a different angle. Look at a cup from above, it is a circle; from the side, a rectangle; from far away, a dot. It is still a cup.
灵子总会时不时跳起来，跟我分享一些前所未有的心理发现。全新的，最深的，以前都没有的。很多次我笑她，哪里全新，只是换了一个视角。以杯子来看，上往下是圈，前往后是四边形，退远一些变成点，到底一杯子。
When a fresh feeling hits her, she taps away on the screen, recording nonstop. She just records; she never reviews. Lately, I have worn her down enough that she will copy them into a notebook. Her time comes in segments, like a goldfish with a short memory, forever swimming in "new" water.
每次来了新感受，她滴答滴答点着屏幕记个不停。只管记，不回顾，最近让我磨到她愿意整理进笔记本里了。她的时间一节节断开，像一条记忆短暂的金鱼，不断游在一片“全新”的水域。
She shares these near-repetitions with delight, and I never tire of it. The content sometimes doesn't matter. The delight—a deep, whole-body feeling from within—is rare and precious.
她欣喜地分享近似重复内容，而我并不厌烦。内容有时不重要，欣喜，一种来自内心的、调动整个身体的深刻感受，这难能可贵。
If a person's life lacks deep stirrings, or if they cannot express them, or if they choose not to, then seeing each other less—and not wasting time—is actually a kindness.
如果一个人他的生活，总是没有深入内心直捣黄龙的搅动，或者深处的扰动说不出来，或者他不说。那我们少见几面，不相互浪费时间，就会成为一项美好。
At the same time, finding someone willing to listen, and who even understands, is equally rare.
与此同时，有人愿意听，甚至还听懂，那同样不可多得。
Last year I published over thirty pieces. Three readers read every one without missing a single post. One was me; the other two are unknown.
我去年发出三十多篇内容，有三个读者看了全部，一篇不落。其中一个我，另外两位不明确。
I don't crave understanding, but the warmth of being seen truly filled my whole body.
我不渴望被理解，但是欣慰之感的的确确盈满了整个身体。
I preview every post seventeen times on average. I can't guarantee quality, only that it is sincere. I used to foolishly share them elsewhere; now I am wiser.
每篇内容的编辑，我平均预览十七次，无法确保好内容，只能保证它们在真情实感之内。此前我还愚蠢转发过，现在变聪明了。
When I quit my job a few years ago, I could have resigned with one line. Instead, I wrote a two-thousand-word letter full of real feeling. I am glad I did. To the recipient, sincerity doesn't matter—they skim and forget; it is just another routine document.
前几年的辞职，本可以一笔而过去传达，却把辞职信写出两千多字，写出真情实感。幸亏如此，对看信的人而言，真情与否无关要紧，会略过会遗忘，那仅是日复一日流水般的工作文件。
But for me, the feeling mattered. It was a record of a life moment and a decision, bearing the traces of my existence. Anything false would be manufacturing garbage, polluting the clean attitude I want toward life.
对我自己，实感重要多了，记录个人生活和节点决定，承载着生命痕迹。若是虚假，无异于给自己制造垃圾，污染生活的干净态度。
These pieces, distilled in my own space, should first fragrance me. No need to shove them into others' eyes or force them to read. I am content with just a handful of readers—no energy wasted on fans or traffic, or turning it into a business. That would require a different posture.
同样，这些内容在我的空间里萃取出来，它最该芬芳的是我。不必塞进他人的眼睛，按着头去读。我很满意现在只有寥寥几位读者，无需分出精力搞粉丝和流量，做成一门生意。那得需要另一种姿态。
The Lunar New Year is a few days away, and it stirs no expectation in me. A real holiday means no orders, free to command my own time. A nominal holiday just shifts the venue of command—from the workplace to the home.
再过几天就是农历春节，不能令我期待。真正的放假，没有指令自由支配。名义的放假，换个场合被支配，从工作地到家。
Mei-jie has a classic argument whenever I try to dodge relatives: you have plenty of time for yourself normally, but this is the one time of year; some people you see once, and that is one less time forever.
媚姐有个非常经典的理由，每当我推脱不走亲戚，她就搬出来：平时有的是时间干自己的事，现在不是平时，年头年尾就一次，有些人见一面少一面。
My true thought is this: if "seeing" someone is just verifying they are still alive, while being unable or unwilling to open our hearts—merely going through the motions—then thirty seconds is plenty. Any more, and I get impatient.
我真实的想法则是，如果所谓的见一次面，就是看看对方是否还活着，不敢也不能敞开心扉，相互应付。三十秒钟就够，多了就不耐烦。
I haven't told her that, or the other elders, or many friends.
这话我没告诉她，也没告诉其他长辈、很多朋友。
They probably wouldn't understand, and I would probably explain it poorly anyway.
他们应该听不懂，我想必也说不好。