One evening, out of nowhere, I remembered that right after graduating college I traveled around Taiwan alone for fifteen days.
晚上，无意间记起大学刚毕业那会，独自一人环台湾的十五日之旅。
It had been a long time since that crossed my mind. The memory is shattered, impossible to piece into a complete map. As I try to recall details, I also examine the forgetting itself.
已有很长一段时间没有记起这茬。记忆早已破碎丢失，拼不成完整的版图。我一边尝试回忆细节，一边又审视这遗忘的发生。
This isn't the only thing forgotten. There's the trip to Italy, living with Yin Wenke, three years at China Communications Construction, rushing between cities for the firm, the little details of campus life. So much is gone—even recent days at home, once so familiar, are gradually blurring.
遗忘不止这一段，还包括意大利之旅，和尹文可同居的生活，在中国交建的三年工作，在事务所奔波于多个城市的经历，大学校园生活的细节。忘得真多，甚至前一段在家里的生活，那么熟悉均已逐渐模糊。
I blame limited memory capacity. Without records or objects to spark recall, whole experiences vanish.
我把这现象，归咎于记忆容量有限。如果不记录，没有可勾起回忆的物件，过去的体验感统统会丢失。
Lately my head is full of: Did I miss any accounting entry? What will the tax costs be later? Did I forget something the boss told me? Is there anything I need to plan ahead?
这阵子脑子里装的是有没有遗漏哪一笔账务，后续税务成本可能是怎么样，有没有遗漏老板交代的事情，有没有什么事情需要提前规划？
Why does that code make particles accelerate, fly out, decelerate, turn back? Why haven't I mastered the technical things I know are important? How do I pick up all those old front-end notes again? What should I practice next?
那段代码为什么能够实现粒子加速、减速飞出去并加速、减速折返，为什么那些自知重要的技术我还是没有熟练，那么多之前记下来的前端技术栈笔记我怎么重拾起来？接下来应该如何练习？
Is the information I've been browsing lately worthless? Have I fallen into an information trap? Why have I listened to so little English recently? Have the things I forgot never been tied to real-use scenarios?
近期浏览的信息是不是对我几乎没有任何价值，我是不是掉进信息陷阱里，为什么我这段时间那么少听英语，所遗忘的学习内容是不是都没有构建现实使用的场景？
And when past memories do surface, they make me feel like a stranger to myself. It doesn't seem like something I did, something I lived. That person isn't me.
而回忆起的过去，令我对自己感到陌生。似乎，那不是我做的，不是我所经历，那个人不是我。
For example, traveling Taiwan alone—that sounds like a bold guy who craved freedom. He even learned to dive and got certified! Hey, that was actually me, the same person as this thin, bespectacled guy in the mirror.
比如独自一人环台，看起来挺大胆挺向往自由的一个家伙，他还去学了潜水，考了潜水证！诶，这居然是我，和镜子前这个消瘦戴眼镜的人是同一个人。
He went to Italy too—visa, tickets, lodging, train passes, four cities—all handled alone, with barely any English and zero Italian. I really did that.
他还去过意大利哦，签证、机票、住宿、车票、四座城市的行程等等那么繁琐的事情，都是他一个人搞定的，英语不懂多少，更说不上一句意大利语，我竟真的做过这件事。
In college he apparently read hundreds of books—millions of words stacked up. Was he that patient? That was me—I actually did it.
还有大学，竟然看过那么多本书，上百本，累起来岂不是有上千万字？他那么有耐心的吗？他是我诶，我曾经真干了这样的事。
He even tried writing half a novel, over a hundred thousand words. How did he come up with so many?
他还尝试过写出半部小说，十来万字，怎么编得出那么多字？
So another possible reason for the forgetting: I'm too immersed in the present.
因此，我想遗忘过去的另外一个可能原因，太沉浸在当前的生活里了。
I've never thought I was focused or engaged enough. I always want to dive deeper, be more efficient, produce better results.
我从来不认为自己足够专注，足够投入地生活，总是希望自己更进一步投入，效率更高，成果更好。
Yet whenever I look back, I get this feeling—that I've lived many different lives.
然而每当抬起头回顾过去，我总会有这种感觉——仿佛曾经有过很多段不一样的人生。