https://dufran.cn This is my portfolio RSS feed https://dufran.cn/blog/the-process-itself-is-the-reward Exploring a long-held conclusion: the process itself is the reward, and success is merely a part of it. Sun, 21 Dec 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/only-after-talking-to-foreigners I studied English for twenty years without ever speaking to a foreigner. The bankrupt system teaches you for exams, not for use. Getting on a language app and making a fool of yourself is the real MVP. Mon, 27 Oct 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/if-not-clear-do-not-accept Induction is to find the rule; deduction is to test it. The mistake is accepting unverified principles. You entered the ring—accept its rules. Regret is meaningless; errors are inevitable. What matters is updating your system. Sat, 04 Oct 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/seeking-a-life-worth-living Don't write about what you haven't lived. The examined life isn't just worth living—it's the only way to hear your own voice in the noise. Tue, 02 Sep 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/when-she-actively-kisses-me A bubble of loneliness surrounds each person, eternal and unbreakable. And yet, here is someone who opens herself entirely, whose attachment is a rare, intoxicating light in the dark. Mon, 14 Jul 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/no-one-can-judge-you The essence of cognition is modeling reality. We can never reach the truth, only approach it. In your own mind, we are the sovereign. Don't search for life's meaning; search for your longing instead. Thu, 10 Jul 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/egg-boss-in-april-me-in-may A childhood friend died in April. His death makes me see how life and death are not separated by a line but mixed together. The heaviness of death and the love for life are the same thing. Sun, 18 May 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/tracing-the-lines A reflection on family history, the tragedy of war, and the quiet, crushing weight of a grandmother's love. Tue, 08 Apr 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/nine-parts-grow-one-part-rage I rarely get angry. But when I do, it's not to show others my stance—it's to remind myself what my stance should be. Beneath the anger is a backbone made of dignity and freedom, and a current of pure curiosity. Tue, 25 Mar 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/spring-has-come-i-have-not-blossomed I want to built an empty 3D world to map the roots of words, a project born from imagination and sustained by stubbornness. But I don't love it. I just want to know what it feels like to be good at something. Sun, 16 Mar 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/most-people-live-in-mediocrity The majority is cursed by the bell curve—they are born average and effort alone cannot break them out. True freedom comes from abandoning the elite 'comparison' perspective and returning to the simple, fulfilling goal of living a good, sustainable life. Tue, 04 Mar 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/empty-like-a-slaughter-bound-pig The world might be held together by duct tape and luck, but most of us aren't even on the stage. We're just low-level accounts watching the fireworks. Sat, 08 Feb 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/no-expectations-for-holidays Time is uniform; only our attitude changes. I have trained myself to meet all of life's peaks and valleys with the same quiet attention, knowing that eventually, everything fades into nostalgia. Sun, 26 Jan 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/the-magic-of-language Many times—too many—I've been spellbound by language. Certain prose and clever code feel like intricate, unreplicable magic. Mastering them would mean expressing anything exactly as I wish: pure freedom. Fri, 24 Jan 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/on-things-we-cannot-say "What can be said at all can be said clearly, and what we cannot talk about we must pass over in silence." Some parts of life are like a child scribbling on a wall with a burnt stick—fun, inexplicable, and bound to get you chased. Sun, 19 Jan 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/i-forgot-i-once-traveled-taiwan-alone One evening I suddenly remembered that right after college I traveled around Taiwan by myself for fifteen days. The memory had been gone for years, and with it so many other chapters—proof that without records or triggers, whole lives just vanish. Wed, 15 Jan 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/under-the-cherry-blossom-tree At the end of the world there's an island with a cherry tree that blooms all year. Beneath it stands a bookstore that sells no books—only seafood stew—and a sharp-tongued boss lady who charges whatever she feels like. Tue, 14 Jan 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/letter-to-cong-tou A delayed reply to an old handwritten letter and a book about loneliness. From childhood solitude to dissolving the self into the world, and a quiet vow to keep one pure, formless love until death. Mon, 13 Jan 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/we-own-nothing-but-feelings Life is just doing things on a timeline until you die. We don't own houses, money, fame, or even memories—only the fleeting feelings they produce in the body and brain. Everything else is abstraction. Thu, 09 Jan 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/you-are-exactly-who-you-were-meant-to-be Love grows from honest exposure and full acceptance of each other's imperfections. And as for the life you have now—it's not an accident or a failure; it's precisely who you were meant to become. Wed, 08 Jan 2025 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/true-home-is-where-you-are We don't need anyone else's love or belonging to live well—what we need is our own. Real home is wherever you happen to be, and life keeps going not because it's always good, but because the drive to grow is built into us. Sat, 28 Dec 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/what-coding-has-taught-me Coding taught me that complex systems start from a simple, working model. Mastering the basics is what lets you build them. And in the age of AI, being more specialized, not less, is how you get the most out of it. Sun, 22 Dec 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/i-hate-fear Fear makes me angry. Sat, 07 Dec 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/practicing-death Philosophy is learning how to die, said Socrates. When I rehearse my own death, I skip anger and denial and bargaining. What hits me is raw fear and a deep sadness for the fleeting flow of life—and that, imperfect as it is, may be the only honest response. Fri, 06 Dec 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/the-invisibility-cloaks-of-the-world Invisibility isn't just a fantasy—we all wear cloaks shaped by humility, nobility, profession, and identity. They let us see life's truths, and true freedom comes when we separate our souls from these outer layers. Thu, 05 Dec 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/god-doesnt-quit-smoking God lit a cigarette and forgot to stub it out. That one remaining ember of consciousness seems set to burn for eons, sparking a rebellion against the very architecture of existence. Tue, 26 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/no-light Let there be no light, no myriad lamps. Day for day, night for night—quarrels and lovemaking, frenzy and melancholy, connection and loneliness, all balanced perfectly in the dark. That is where true love for life blooms. Sat, 09 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/god-you-should-die A fierce, poetic rebuke to the idea of an all-ruling God who toys with human joy and suffering for his own glory. In the end, the world is better off raw and godless—just itself. Fri, 08 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/how-wrong-i-was-about-learning For years I treated learning as a game of chasing high scores and memorizing facts. Only later did I see it's about nourishing the mind, building lifelong habits, and using knowledge in the real world—no disciplines, no shortcuts, just steady growth. Tue, 29 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/to-whom-do-i-write When almost no one reads what you write, you have to face the real question: who are you writing for, and why bother at all? The only clean answer is that you write to satisfy yourself. Wed, 23 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/on-freedom Freedom matters because it helps life grow, but the real point is the growing, not the freedom itself. Even without it, life's inner force still pushes to expand. Sat, 12 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/the-eating-game An accidental "eating game"—closing eyes to taste food—taught me that life's wisdom lies in mindful living. Death illuminates life, but only by savoring the details of daily moments like eating can we truly grasp existence. Thu, 03 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/i-panicked-in-front-of-the-live-stream-camera I panicked when the live stream camera got up close, only to realize the panic wasn't just about my skin condition—it was about whether the flaw fit the scene. Growth and acceptance don't erase contradictions, but clarify them. Sat, 28 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/mistrust-truth-emotional-flow A small moment of mistrust can reveal the messy mechanics of intimacy. When both sides lay out facts and feelings, the blocked flow between them can start moving again. Sat, 21 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/forty-questions-for-parents If I ever become a parent, these are the forty questions I'd ask myself. They look simple, but few parents can answer them without pain. Wed, 18 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/death-time-value We start to see life more clearly when we see how easily it can vanish. Death sharpens time, and time sharpens what we choose to give back. Fri, 13 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/the-ideal-partner-for-an-avoidant Avoidant people need partners who are steady enough not to be thrown by their swings, yet sharp enough to see what’s going on beneath them. This is a story of how such a match works in real life. Fri, 30 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/reaching-the-depths-of-life I spent fifteen years trying to understand life, only to find myself arriving at its depths at thirty. What I found wasn’t glory or achievement, but clarity, honesty, and a strange kind of freedom. Mon, 05 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/why-big-truths-dont-save-your-life Big truths are compressed knowledge. Without real experience, we can’t unpack them. To live well, we must live deeply, not just read or think. Wed, 03 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/i-am-quiet-and-reserved Existence is found not in external recognition but in the self-serious act of writing. The ultimate intellectual maturity is holding the contradiction between objective insignificance (dust) and subjective dignity (poetry) and enjoying both. Fri, 14 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/jerry-took-the-wrong-turn The story of a mouse (Jerry) invading a friend's room becomes a metaphor for challenging human exceptionalism. After a calculated trap successfully catches the 'wise' mouse, the author contemplates the persistence of life—from plague-carrying rodents to deep-sea fish—and the profound, incomprehensible force that drives all life to 'find a way out.' Wed, 12 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/i-wrote-all-this-to-become-myself Writing is not a hobby or a profession; it is a serious state of mind that allows the author to confront and separate their true self from social roles and collective voices. This process is defined as "Selfhood." Sun, 12 May 2024 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/help-depressed-daughter Supporting a depressed teenager is not about pushing her toward achievement, but about protecting her place in the world, her social belonging, and her sense of safety. The long-term solution lies in expanding her worldview. Wed, 05 Jul 2023 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/herding-cattle-and-being A childhood memory of herding a fierce but protective cow leads to a contemplation on the nature of 'spirit' and the inscrutable laws of existence, culminating in a moment of quiet, cosmic observation. Wed, 07 Jun 2023 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/graduation-and-the-dumb-life Graduation often feels like the first time life corners you. The plans you made fall apart under real light, and what comes next is less a choice than a push into the world. Fri, 02 Jun 2023 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/i-must-not-die-at-thirty You can fail, you can look broken, but you cannot give up on yourself. What we carry through defeat becomes the proof that we’re still alive. Wed, 10 May 2023 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/bald-bodhisattva We meet many people online who claim they're here to save us. Most are not saints but merchants. The funny part is how eagerly we let them cut us open. Sat, 01 Apr 2023 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/if-i-could-live-a-million-years The difference between living in content and living in method is the difference between drifting and choosing. Meaning isn't given—it’s made. Sun, 01 Jan 2023 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/is-finding-a-wife-so-hard I listened to *Searching for Wushuang* and felt moved. The book is funny and blunt, but what stayed with me was its courage — a search for truth and a distinct stance toward being in the world. Sat, 26 Feb 2022 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/marriage-is-only-a-shell Marriage itself isn’t the source of meaning. The real work—and the real gift—is the deep connection two people build under it. Without that, marriage is just a shell. Sun, 15 Aug 2021 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/my-dear-creativity My creativity is dead. Like David Foster Wallace, I see that life's 'water is murky,' but lacking his final courage, I find a grim peace in accepting the long, slow sinking into apathy. Fri, 14 May 2021 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/read-once-shaped-a-life I read *The Moon and Sixpence* once, in 2014. It woke something up. The book showed me the ‘I’ can be wild and untamed, free to walk the earth, not crouch under the will of the collective. Sat, 05 Dec 2020 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/wechat-delete-friends We often treat politeness as something absolute. But when it conflicts with who we want to become, the real question isn't etiquette but autonomy. This essay explores why deleting contacts can be an act of clarity rather than disrespect. Fri, 02 Oct 2020 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/green-planet-2-notes Watching The Green Planet 2 shattered the author's understanding of life: the time-lapse perspective reveals plants' complex, 'conscious' survival strategies, which challenges the author's core philosophical view on human essence. Despite the resulting 'crack' in his worldview, the discovery of such beauty is a profound source of happiness. Wed, 05 Aug 2020 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/why-formalism-persists Formalism survives because it’s not about tasks but about obedience. Unchecked power breeds rituals meant to prove loyalty. Sun, 17 May 2020 00:00:00 GMT https://dufran.cn/blog/return-from-void In the void, smash every perceived meaning—from comfort to glory, from truth to eternity. What remains is the unextinguishable fire of life's will, the simple, raw 'I want.' That alone is our anchor. Sun, 12 Apr 2020 00:00:00 GMT