The core value of freedom is that it makes a good environment for life to grow. But the point, fundamentally, is life and growth, not freedom itself. Without freedom, life is still life. Its inner drive still hungers to grow.
自由的核心价值，在于它是生命生长的良好环境。但是说到底，重点在于生命和生长，而不是自由。没有自由，生命依旧是生命，其内在生命力仍渴求生长。
In my twenties, I wasted time defining freedom: time freedom, action freedom, spiritual freedom. Now, at thirty, I care less about what freedom ought to be and more about how to get it. This is the natural sequence: first you imagine the ideal, then you figure out the path to it. Sometimes talking about freedom feels pointless.
若我二十来岁谈论自由这个话题，我会写下自由的含义。几年前，也的确留下过相关的日记，那时还区分了时间自由、行动自由、精神自由等概念。现在我三十岁，对事物的理解更关注如何实现，而不是想象它应该是如何。这是两个上下承接的阶段。先是想象一个事物应该如何，再关注如何在现实中实现它。有时谈论自由是没有意义的。
The Illusory Nature of Freedom
First, freedom is obvious. Even a fool knows instinctively that if you're unhappy you should complain—that's free speech. A simpleton knows he'd rather poke around in bird nests than haul manure all day—that's freedom in life. An idiot knows thinking interesting thoughts beats hearing the same old things forever—that's freedom of thought.
一是，自由极其朴素。呆子天然知道，不满意要呱啦呱啦骂出来，这就是free speech；傻子也天然知道，他想掏鸟窝而不是整天挑大粪，这就是freedom in life；白痴也天然知道，想点有意思的东西比天天听同样的话要舒服，这就是freedom of spirit。
Second, the real question is how to achieve it. Third, we always stand on the line. One foot in mud, one on rock. Half bound, half free. We find freedom inside constraints, and constraints inside freedom.
二是，自由，重要的是如何实现。三是，人永远都站立在分界线上，一脚陷在泥潭里，一脚踏在岩石上。实际层面就是如此，一半束缚，一半自由，人总能在束缚里找到自由，也总能在自由里感到束缚。
Look at people locked in prison yet no one can control their thoughts—Cervantes wrote Don Quixote in jail. Confined to a wheelchair for life, yet still thinking—Hawking. Blind and deaf, yet dictating books—Helen Keller. Born without arms or legs, yet building a family—Nick Vujicic. These are extreme cases, not universal. But they demonstrate you can find freedom inside tight constraints.
你看深陷囹圄，但是没有人能管控你想什么，如塞万提斯。终身坐轮椅，也不能阻止人继续思考，如霍金。瞎了眼，但不能阻止你口述，如海伦凯勒。缺胳膊少腿，也不能阻止你成家立业，如尼克胡哲。这些人可以说是幸存者，不具有普适性，但是的确能说明束缚里也能找到自由。
The reverse is common, too. Perfectly healthy bodies, yet never traveling far. Plenty of money, yet still anxious. Sound mind, yet never writing a book. Freedom always comes mixed with constraint.
反过来，四肢健全，也不见得总会游历四方。衣食无忧，不见得就没有忧虑的困扰。心智健全，也不见得总能著书立作。这些极其普遍的现象，不就是某种自由里仍有某种束缚。
People chase freedom only to jump from one mix of freedom and constraint into another. We're stuck in between forever. That’s a bleak conclusion, like the fact that we'll all die. You have to accept it.
所以本质上，人们寻求自由，不过是从某种自由和束缚，跳进另一种自由和束缚里，永远处在二者之间。这个结论相当悲观，就像人必有一死，但你又不得不承认。
The Philosophy of Vitality
In that sense, "What's the point of seeking freedom if it doesn't exist purely?" is the same question as "What's the point of living hard if everything ends in death?" Both ask: if everything vanishes, why bother?
从这个意义上来说，“寻求自由的意义在哪，如果没有意义为什么还寻求”，“一生奋力地活着是为了什么，如果没有意义为什么还继续活下去？”，这两个问题是等价的：一切既然都会消失，都没有意义，那为什么还要这样做？
Camus starts The Myth of Sisyphus by saying the only real philosophical question is suicide. Life is absurd because it ends, yet he says we should live anyway—as revolt against the absurd. Sisyphus pushes the rock up the mountain, the gods make it roll down, all his work undone. Just like a human life wiped out by death. Yet Camus says we must imagine Sisyphus happy. Why? Because every time he walks back down and pushes again, he scorns the gods. In his endless refusal to give up, he finds happiness.
加缪在《西西弗斯神话》里开头一句，就是真正的哲学问题只有一个，那就是自杀。对于人必有一死，活着并没有意义这样的荒谬事，加缪给出的回答是活下去，以此作为对荒谬的对抗。正如西西弗每次费劲将石头推上山顶，诸神便诅咒，使石头再次滚下山，一切的努力都被否定。就如同人一生，一切努力都会在死亡的那一刻被清除。多么困苦！然而加缪说，你必须想象西西弗是幸福的。为什么呢，因为西西弗在推石头上山的过程中，他无比蔑视诸神，诸神每一次诅咒石头滚下山，他就再推一次，以此来压制诸神此前的诅咒，在对抗荒谬的永不妥协中，他获得对抗的幸福感。
My own philosophy differs. I don't know if gods exist or why death is absurd. Camus starts from rebelling against absurdity. I don't think absurdity needs fighting—it’s too abstract, like punching a shadow. My core idea is simpler: The philosophy of vitality. It doesn't come from resisting absurdity; it comes from life itself. Life has its own inherent force. Return to yourself, feel it, and you notice this drive to grow. That's all you need to start moving.
我的生活哲学，与加缪不同。我不知道诸神是否存在，不确定这世界是如何而来，更不清楚为什么人要有一死这样的荒诞。加缪的哲学，是源自对抗荒谬。而我并不认为荒谬需要对抗，荒谬很抽象，对抗荒谬就如同对抗一个不存在的对象。我最核心的生活哲学，如果用一个词来概括，那就是生命力哲学。它并不源自对抗荒谬，而是源自生命本身。生命，自有生命力。人作为一种生命形态，只需回归自身，去感知它，他便能意识到自身的生命力，从而开始行动，他自会意识到内在渴望生长的力量。
The Void asks: "You seek freedom, yet you'll always be half-free, half-bound. Why bother?" Vitality answers: "Yes, I know. But freedom is a better place to grow." Void: "You'll die anyway and everything gets erased. Why try?" Vitality: "Yes, I know. But I want to grow." Void: "Why do you want to grow?" Vitality: "I don't know. I just follow the force inside me and let it out." Void: "Why obey a force you don't even understand?" Vitality: "Because it is me." Void: "What do you get from releasing it?" Vitality: "Satisfaction that I exist." That's the root of my view of freedom.
虚空说：“你寻求自由，终究还是在半自由半束缚里，那你为何还寻求自由呢？”生命力：“是，我知道，但自由是更好的生长环境。”虚空说：“人终有一死，你这么努力，到头来都被抹除，何必呢？”生命力：“是，我知道，但我就想要生长。”虚空说：“那你为什么想要生长？”生命力：“我不知道，我只是顺从内在的力量，寻求释放它。”虚空说：“你为什么要顺从一种你自己都搞不清楚的力量？”生命力：“因为它就是我。”虚空说：“那你从释放这种力量中，又能收获什么？”生命力：“对自身存在的满意。”我自由观念的根基，就根植在这样的生命力哲学里。
Growth in "Garbage Time"
Take the common idea that you need financial freedom first, then time freedom, then space to develop yourself. Otherwise you're stuck earning a living, doing trivial things, with no time for what you really want. Vitality says the opposite. When I stop resisting the trivial things that fill my days—when I stop fighting the work I don't love—I suddenly feel freer.
比如，我们似乎都认为，需要等到财富自由，人才会有时间的自由，才能有空间发展自我，否则人就只能被迫谋生，不断干繁琐的事情，根本没有时间做自己想做的事，无暇发展兴趣爱好，也就无法实现自我。生命力哲学会说：“不是。刚好反过来。当我不再抗拒这些占据我时间的繁琐谋生事宜，不再抗拒那些不是我想做的事情的时候，我才觉得，我更自由了。
Nothing in reality can trap me. I'm like a seed dropped somewhere random: a crack in a wall, bare rock, the desert. I don't know what hand I'll be dealt or what hardships will come. What I do know is that wherever I land, I'll grow. As long as I exist, I'll seek freedom and expand.
我认为，现实这些不能困住我。我就像种子，不知道随机落在墙缝里，还是石头上，或者沙漠中。我不知道生活会给我什么样的开局，此后又有如何的限制和困境。我知道的是，不管它给我什么，将来要给我施加什么样的苦难，我都要在那种环境里去生长起来。只要我还存在，我就去寻求自由，让自己生长。”来吧，看看这生命力哲学之上的自由观。
People talk lately about "history's garbage time"—economic downturns, slow growth, periods that history will skip over as dull. On the personal level, we have "life's garbage time": sitting on the toilet, waiting for someone, doing dead-end work for barely enough money. Some writers say only surplus time counts as life; everything else is just survival.
近来有个词经常被提起，“历史的垃圾时间”。当前经济下行，处在低谷时期没有高速增长，似乎这些时间就是垃圾，往后人类历史提及这段时期，不过是一笔带过，没有辉煌可言、乏善可陈。类似的，在微观个体身上，似乎也有“生活的垃圾时间”。蹲茅坑，等人，做着没有带来任何进步的工作，徒有一份糊口的底薪，这就很垃圾。有些作家，说剩余价值才是生活，谋生以外的时间才是生活。
I think that's wrong. Terrible, even. Commuting on the subway, rushing to the office, repeating the same boring tasks day after day—these aren't just for paying bills. If you treat time only as a means to survive, you've thrown away its real value. Using gold to prop up a table leg works, but calling the gold garbage is your mistake. Time's greatest value is nourishing the soul and letting life grow. If you truly value your life, no second is garbage.
我认为这一套理念不好，一点都不好。我们挤地铁，低头赶路上班，在岗位上日复一日做着重复而枯燥的事情，这些时间，并不是单单可以谋生而已。若时间只作为谋生之用，是我们放弃了利用它的价值。拿黄金来垫桌脚，有作用，但你说它垃圾就是你的不对。时间最大的价值，是滋养我们的心灵，让生命得以生长。如果人足够珍视他的生命，就不存在一分一秒的垃圾时间。
I'm an accountant. The work is tedious, monthly and yearly cycles. I know the repetition well—I once left a job to escape it. Now I'm back in the field and no longer resent it. When there's no other way to support myself, I need it to keep life stable while I gather strength. And I can still train rigor of thought, problem-solving ability, and mental models. Accounting stinks to me—anything locked in fixed rules starts to rot. But this is my environment. Even if it's a manure pit, I'll draw whatever nutrients I can for growth.
我是个财务，财务就足够繁琐，每月、每年循环。我当然能理解到重复和枯燥，此前离开一家企业，个中缘由就是想摆脱这样的困境。如今我又重回本行，却不再排斥它。在没有其他方式赚钱养活自己时，我需要它来稳住生活以供韬光养晦，再者，我可以继续从财务中，训练思考的严谨和深度、解决问题的元能力、一些思维模型。财务在我看来，是臭的，在定死的规矩里循环的事物，就会臭。然而这是我所处的环境，即便是粪坑，我也要汲取其中能促进生长的养分。
Rejecting Surrender
"Give me liberty or give me death" sounds heroic. To me it sounds weak. If reality denies you freedom and your answer is death, I don't like that kind of surrender. When I face the void, I hear the fire of life burning inside, refusing to let me extinguish it. It whispers: No freedom? Don't die. Draw nutrients and grow anyway. Seek and create freedom.
有句很著名的语录，“无自由，勿宁死”。听起来豪情悲壮，在我看来却是弱爆了，现实没有给他自由，他没有得到自由，他就去死，我不喜欢逃兵式的抗议哲学。当我面对虚空，我总能听到生命之火在燃烧，不许我掐断。它不断低语：没有自由，也不能去死，去汲取养分生长起来！去寻求和创造自由。
I don't mean to call people who take their own lives cowards—think of Haizi or Wallace. I just wish those trapped by circumstances would listen inward and hear that small flame leaping.
我无意指责选择自杀的人们就是逃兵，比如海子，华莱士。我倒是希望那些被现实囚困住的人们，能向内听一听，听见身内那火苗在窜烧。
Freedom matters because it's the best soil for growth. But the heart of the matter is life and growth, not freedom. Without freedom, life goes on. Its inner vitality still craves to expand. We can't beat heaven. Constraints are eternal, freedom relative. To choke off growth just because the soil isn't perfect—that puts the cart before the horse.
自由的核心价值，在于它是生命生长的良好环境。但是说到底，重点在于生命和生长，而不是自由。没有自由，生命依旧是生命，其内在生命力仍渴求生长。人无法胜天，束缚永恒自由相对，倘若没有自由的环境，就掐断生长。这不是本末倒置，这是什么？
Any grand ideal, freedom included, turns hollow if it doesn't serve life and its journey. Any philosophy that weakens or sacrifices life's force instead of feeding it is poison.
一切崇高的理想，诸如自由，如果不是回归到生命及其历程上。那它不是抽象、虚头巴脑的口号，那又是什么？如果一种哲学某种理念，不是滋养人的生命力，反而削弱甚至掐断它、牺牲它，那它们就是个毒。
That said, "Give me liberty or give me death" came from Patrick Henry in $1775$, when he was ready to risk his life fighting British rule for American independence. Radical as it sounds, it still puts human life at the center. So maybe it's good philosophy after all.
不过话说回来，“无自由毋宁死”，出自$1775$年亨利在美国独立时期的发言，本意是他宁愿付出生命来对抗英国殖民统治，寻求北美殖民地的独立。方式很激进，核心还是在人身上。这到底是好的哲学。