In writing these scattered notes, I am quiet and calm, like falling leaves, like running water.
在写杂记里，我安静，沉敛，如落叶流水。
I speak softly about what I’ve been through, from east to west. I listen to myself with full attention. Each word matters. This is when I feel most real.
我低语述说经历，从东到西，自己会神地倾听，字字入心，这是我最有存在感的时刻。
To be watched by a crowd isn’t to exist. That’s noise and confusion. Poetry grows in peace.
万众瞩目不是存在，是嘈杂和混乱，诗意生长在和谐和安宁里。
When someone treats themselves seriously, poetry, spirit, and dignity emerge. A kind of beauty. A kind of strength. A kind of being.
人严肃对待自己，就会产生诗意、精神、尊严，一种美，一种力量，一种存在。
The universe is vast. The world is full of people. My life feels like dust. But because I live for myself, I begin to expand. My words flow like spring water. My listening is warm light. Life exists between water and light.
看这宇宙，那么浩瀚，这世界有那么多人，我这生活如尘埃。不过，我因自己而开始辽阔，我的倾述如涓涓春水，我的倾听似暖光，水与光之间是生机。
I am part of the universe in life, and part of it in death. Just one point in the infinite. But that point is eternal.
我生是宇宙的部分，死也是宇宙的部分，这部分是无限的一点，但也永恒。
Flip it around: maybe I’m just brain signals. My thoughts, my images, my illusions. Dust. A bug. A speck. Maybe nothing at all. Maybe I never existed.
反着来说，这不过是我神经元间的信号，我的意识，我的意象和幻念，我仍是尘埃、蝼蚁、浮游，或者什么狗屁也不是，灰飞烟灭后宛如不曾存在。
I believe all these almost-facts. But poetry is still poetry. Spirit is still spirit. Dignity is still dignity. I like facts. I also like good things. One of the best lessons I learned is how to hold contradictions in my head—and enjoy both.
我十足相信这些近乎事实的视角，而诗意就是诗意，精神就是精神，尊严就是尊严。我喜欢事实，也喜欢好事物。我受到最好的教育之一，就是把矛盾的事物融合在一个小脑瓜里，并享用二者。
When I’m just a walk-on in the play of life, I know one thing clearly: I’m the one who should take myself most seriously.
在生活里作路人甲的时候，我会很清晰地明白，自己应该是最能严肃对待我的人了。
And who am I? I’m the sum of what I think and what I do.
而我是谁，我是我的全部观念和行为的总和。
In Christianity, they speak of “cleansing.” I want to cleanse myself too.
基督教里常说“洁净”，我也想洁净自己。
I want to make more beauty, more poetry for myself.
我想为自己创造更多的诗意和美。
In a life that’s hot, messy, and raw, I want to plant better thoughts and do better things. I want to create something good.
我想在烈日、繁琐、带腥的生活里，多一些好观念好行为，创造一些好的东西。
I don’t like dreams. That’s the future. I like now.
我不喜欢梦想，那是未来，我喜欢现在。
To live right here, right now. Real from the outside in. Poetic from the inside out.
就活在此时此刻里，由外而内地现实，由内而外地诗意。
Carry sixpence, and look at the moon. If you mess something up, do it again.
揣着六便士看月亮，做不好的事情就再做一遍。
That’s all.
以上。
June 14, 2024 — Room 1805, Guangzhou
二零二四年六月十四日，广州1805